I'm beginning to think minoring in Criminology is useless. Because there's no job for it. [Nor am I terribly interested in Social Justice]

...

*looks at food science minor*

But that's (considering I can only take 1 course in spring) 5 courses to do in 2 semesters. Which is fine bc I'll be done with my major by spring this year. But is it possible? Will they offer all the courses I need?

...

Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, too.

Maybe a double minor would be safer.

[ I need a minor to graduate.]

I don't wanna stay in school longer. But I don't want to have a minor that's not going to do me anything, either.

What do I want in life? To be happy. Still have free time. Have a husband. Simple, things. I'm getting old.

Hey Brett? I love you.

I am both happy and unhappy at the same time.

Psychology. I love psychology a lot. In fact, I don't think there is one thing in Psychology I don't like. But I don't have a clear path in what I want to do in the future, and that really sucks. Like really, and I went to the Federal Jobs Career fair with intent on talking to the FBI on criminal profiling and...they basically told me to go fuck off because they were interested in math majors and engineers.

Thank you.

Looking at their website, it looks like the guy I talked to was completely and utterly wrong. Fuck you, you douche. They do need psychologists and sociologists, but eh apparently not a lot and just ffff.

I looked at engineering psychology again, and it looks like it may be a fusion of technology and psychology, really it may be my dream job? I would love to work for google or nintendo and test shit out [bc Psychologists know how the brain works and all that jazz so they need them]. I made an appointment with an advisor to talk about this.

Second. I got my Adolescent Psychology Exam grade back. I got a 46 out of 60. What the fuck. Last exam i got a 55 out of 60. Really, what the fuck. I don't feel like I did that bad. That's a 76%. What the fuck. You know, I really should make an appointment with TA to talk about it...I think I will. because how did I get 14 questions wrong? 10, maybe but 14? the fuck? [but I really do hate her exams bc she takes them from the book and they're worded horribly.] Okay I just did that. Initiative, it helps. Looks like I'll be sleeping horribly early monday night.

You know, it's probably all my fault unless I failed at filling in bubbles [I suppose we'll see about that when I go.] I didn't study as much as I usually would have, and you know it's no one's fault but mine. According to my calculations, I have an 84 in that class now, with a 45% final still withstanding, and extra credit to hand in.

I'm still fucking angry.

I really want all A's this semester, or maybe all A's and one B+ (bc there's always that one class that fucks you up, isn't there?) So you know? I have another Conditioning & Learning Exam Thursday. And I got a 93 on that. A grade I was really happy with bc the class average was a 75. And he's a hard-ass teacher (the bad ass kind though). So, I'm going to study my ass off for this. Because I want an A again. Because I refuse, refuse, REFUSE TO LIVE WITH THIS FUCKING SHITTY GPA I HAVE RIGHT NOW. It's a fucking 2.9 You know the fuck why? BC OF FUCKING BIOLOGY. Bc I couldnt for the LIFE OF ME GET HIGHER THAN A C IN THOSE EXAMS NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED. and fucking biology, just FUCK YOU.

So why am I happy? Because well, life, the love life at least, has been great lately. I've been feeling incredibly appreciated lately [And yes Brett when you read this, this is about you.] And well, bc I feel like I've made a new best friend who will hear me out in anything. That's always good, and I'm so happy I started talking to you Brandie <3. Thank you for the lulz and the support in every aspect of my life.

Second, I hung out in NYC with Chris and Mike today. It was pretty awesome.

It's 12.07. I have a Darker than Black episode to watch, voting to put up, and rps to check. But I think it's hiatus times. Because grades matter, and I kind of hate myself.

It starts tomorrow. I hate looking like a failure in any form, and I am fucking not one.

それから、寝る。

Happy Halloween~~~

Yesterday I did a day in the life of....meme thing. Well I saw it somewhere and always wanted to do it, and my blackberry takes good enough pics to do so.

Basically I took one picture an hour, from wake to sleep of whatever was 'round at the time.



SAMPLE OF MY MEME OR SOMETHING LOL
( So if you're curious about me, click~ )

*goes back to translating Loveless*

Fall was pretty today.

( Pic under cut! )

Tomorrow I am calling Brandie! ♥

...and hopefully getting my transfer credit woes solved, lol.

I'm doing it again.

I value that Brett will tell me to shut up. [Eric you do too , so thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.]

But he's not 'round. And I'll feel horrible for posting this bc he will read it (even if its weeks later) and he will feel horrible, and then ill feel horrible for making him feel bad.

(even if he deserves to feel that way?)

I miss the guys. Maybe this is why I'm more confrontational tonight even if I hide it behind smiles. I'll be seeing mike tomorrow though.

Thank God.

I love you so much because you know how I am, and because that still doesn't scare you away and you just tell me to shut up or stop being stupid or something. That you never try to make me be something I'm not. And that I never feel like I'm competing or trying to impress. I'm just me. And that's enough.

Goddamn it.

F-List/ Friends/ HOME DAWGS/WHATEVER.

I really need a recommendation for a new series (IDEALLY A VIDEO GAME) to play. Something that's lighthearted (thing ala Mario RPG ish.). I'd prefer it to be a game, though.

I think I've made up my mind to drop Naoya (but I'm gonna give it till this weekend), but I REALLLLY want someone else to play at luceti bc they have awesome people and an awesome cast and fffffffff.

But but I don't want to play an evil mastermind again. Evil is all good, but not the evil where I need to sit down and think 5 minutes about how they would type this response ;_;.

BASICALLY NOT ANOTHER LIGHT. or Naoya

...And Gary is my dad's name so this is kind of weird.

I can't tell how long it's been since I've updated bc this journal doesn't have dates on it. But that's okay, I think. I don't like to post too much.

So I think HoboHei is growing on me. But I miss adorable Li, ya know? I'm also finishing Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. It's a great game ♥. The new kuro chapter should be translated soon too, w00t.

---RP STUFF--
I rebought Prototype yesterday. I'm really considering apping Alex @ luceti. I mean at least he's not all smart and cunning like everyone else here. But he's very jaded, so hahahaha. But his powers would be soo fun to play with :].

Things on a_trialbyfire have been dandy too. Sebastian om nomed Chie and Yoite while being doored, and the ensueing conversation between Sebastian and Ciel was them both being very cranky hahaahaha.

And sortinghat_rp, sortinghat_rp, sortinghat_rp..... Hrnnn. Well I'm just waiting for more CR in season 2 so I can drop Li the right way, and if Kit does what she said she is then I am dropping Endrance. Seeing as I'm not keeping Soubi in the game after Seimei leaves, that leaves me with Light and Ciel. But Light is very difficult to play there. I'm thinking, and am seriously considering moving light to a_trialbyfire. It's perfect for him, someone else who is horribly dark inside...he wouldn't be restricted. But I'd only do that if Lauren came with me.

I'm also...this sounds very weird but, I am also a lot more comfortable in playing Light/Mikami how they're supposed to be, even age wise, I mean. Part of it is I guess is because I'm used to it, I did it for a year and a half? ( I think) and the other part is the dynamics of the relationship.

I guess we'll have to see how that goes.

---RP STUFF END--

I need to make money :|. But gamestop never gives me hours. But it's horrible bc I'm happy they don't, yet I'm like FFF money. That's alright though, because this week I'm gonna talk to my psych advisor.

Also hey, I've gotten an A on every exam I've taken so far. I don't know how that happened. I got a 93 on my Conditioning & Learning exam, and that exam was difficult. Not in the biology (WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT MEMORIZE EVERY WORD IN THE BOOK), but difficult in concepts. You had to sit back and think. I'm really proud of myself. Now if only my parents would be.

Maybe this 4.0 for this semester doesn't seem too far off. I took my Japanese Culture & History exam last tuesday too, and I feel like I definitely got at least a B+ on it? But I definitely bullshitted the Tale of Heike crap, because I honestly had no idea what to say about them lol. [ I feel like he didn't say much.] I don't know maybe I'll get an A bc my essay was good? I'd be happy with a B+ I suppose, but it would be my first B+ this sem, (but its totally possible to get it up to an A again)

Eh, I really need the GPA. And I love this image [see icon]. It's so amazing.

Honestly, I don't get the stupidity of people on the net. It really amazes me. So does online drama. Or is the internet SRSR BUSINESS now? Oy, biffles and shit.

Oh well, I'll just sit here laughing at people.

I'm also amazed at myself. I eagerly set out in 40 degree weather w/ pouring rain for workable internet. I'm not a net addict at all. What are you talking about.

This week, I started an experiment. I'm not going to drink soda of any form for 2 weeks. Now, I'm not a soda drinker normally. I'm an iced tea aholic, but real iced tea (snapple, gold peak) not that high fructose corn syrup nestea shit. That being said, I drink soda here because when I'm left with a choice in the vending machines of water or soda, I go for soda ( I have a really hard time drinking water w/meals). I've also been calorie counting this week. I guess you could say I get a point where I'm like :|. And for whatever reason I did this sunday. I think its because Im trying to adjust how to eat here, without a meal plan and all. I live in Au Bon Pain, I swear lol. So we'll see how that goes.

Somehow, listening to this song with this Death Note icon, it makes SENSE SOMEHOW :|.

Brb, i'm off to hate on humanity more ♥.

I'm a mess today. I had the bright idea to try to do my nails before I left today. Uhhh can you say utter failure? The last time I painted my nails was on may for anime boston. This is kind of embarassing but I painted em black to try to get into Sebastian's head more for the upcoming event at a_trialbyfire eheheheh.... Black nailpolish is kind of cool though.

Also I've ruined my sleep schedule entirely. I nearly went to bed last night at 5am... Fuck myself lol. AHHH I HAVE SO MUCH STUFF TO DO TODAYYYY.

*crumples into corner*

Sooo today I had planned on finishing reading The Tales of Genji, as I have basically a midterm on it Tuesday. Yeah it's on the Kojiki too, and The Tale of Heike, but I'm pretty versed on the Kojiki so.... I need to reread the Tale of Heike though.

And I have an exam in Conditioning and Learning. Thing is, I read all the chapters for it already, and I feel like I understand it, but I don't think I remember what each separate person though (Pavlov, Thorndyke, Locke, Ebbinghaus...) etc.

I've been really good too, the past two nights setting aside a good 2-4 hours just reading through the tale of Genji. But uh.

Today I watched Numb3rs all day as there was a marathon :|.

Way to go self :|.

I figured if I disconnected myself from the net while I was on the laptop my ADD wouldn't be that bad, right? WRONG.

Come look at my new layout! It's hot, I promise!

...yeah so I wound up making myself a new layout as I was bored of the old one already. But this one is kuro, and I think it'll carry me past Halloween so...

I have so much shit to do.bList time.

• PUBLIC HEALTH HOMEWORK OMG


• Sync my Blackberry and get all my crap on it


• Sync my Ipod


• Pack


• Read old notes on The Tale of Genji


• Watch Top Chef episode I missed


• Color the Icon I need for Sebastian on a_trialbyfire


• Watch that Chris Hansen Show about pedophiles to cheer myself up ♥

...Look like it's gonna be a long night.

Oh yeah did I mention I got the Blackberry Tour? It's really sexy. List will be crossed off as I get stuff done.

Btw, I also updated my list of ♥ here ---> http://sashide.livejournal.com/265870.html#cutid1

Still no where close to being done, though.

This icon.

Sums up the entire night.

Oh my god bed, i have early class tomorrow 11:30 isnt early, so stfu christine

So my Prof for conditioning and learning is awesome in a badass way, he's sarcastic and witty and tells things straight up how they are in.

In short Im in love with him (no not in THAT way) but ffs I feel like im learning. I actually don't need to focus to stay attentive in that class. I HAVE LIKE 20 PAGES OF NOTES. ( I write small so that's a shitload for me who doesn't normally take notes)

...but I somehow missed him announcing the past 3 classes that he moved the exam a week later? FML. Okay so im usually like 5 mins late on tuesdays bc of the fuckin B bus. BUT THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ORZZZZ.

and he wrote back: "As I announced in the last 3 classes...it's next tuesday."

;_; PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME PROFESSOR MAN I WANNA WORK IN YOUR LAB NEXT SEM. waiiiiii *melts in puddle* Like I even go up to him after class and chat with him all nerdy like so he knows my face ;_;. (hopefully he won't remember that fail email?)


GAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (mobile post is mobile)

Sooo yeahh I didn't bother to update while I was in FL bc too much fun was to be had (and I had a cold too, and still do). I went swimming, hung out with my cousin's and it was fun.

...to be honest I think I'm in a kind of low right now. And because I kinda inwardly freaked out at the airport because I realized if Brett's going to come it's going to be in 1-2 weeks. Bah. All I'm going to say on the subject is:

I don't know. I want it, but I don't know if it will finally happen, and whatever happens, happens.

...right, next topic. I've been on in an rp slump in sortinghat_rp. I'm on hiatus now and I don't even feel like going back :|. I kinda feel horrible about it. Hopefully my drive will come back. As for luceti, well I plan on apping Yoite soon there, but as for Naoya, hnn :|. I'm really feeling the lack of canon wall, and thing is I'm not too comfortable making up head canon. Well without a personality to go along with it in any case. I'm going to have to think on the whole thing. But uh, man has Sebastian been running my brain in a_trialbyfire. Such a lovely small comm, and a lovely ciel-mun to boot ♥.

So IDK, my weekend was great, I got sunburn, and I have no idea what's to come next. Well I'm going to Mexico in december but that's a way's away. Let's keep on chugging, school year.

...Sooo...

Happy Birthday Soubi ! o/ (Yes I am wishing a fictional character happy birthday, and yes I only do it for 2 characters, Soubi and Light. Because they're my babies ♥) Both born on the 28th of the month, huh.

That aside, today was a good day overall, though there was some blahness involved too.

I've been trying to get some kind of internship/volunteer work with psych. Thing is, everyone says come back when you have your bachelor's. Well until today. Today I talked to the head of the psych department at the hospital by me. She said they don't take volunteers because it's too dangerous. :|. I'd need special training and all that. She did say though that they do take interns, but that has to be arranged with my school. As it stands its too far into the sem to do that now, but I'm going to try to get that arranged in the summer. Hilariously, she told me I could do a volunteer thing in any med ward but not the psych department's. Thanks.
Sigh In any case I'm gonna talk to the Psych department on wed to see what more can be done. If I can't do anythign this sem, I might apply at BN I can't take gamestop anymore.

But, I got my poem workshopped today! I'm taking creative writing for me, because I want to improve my writing rping hush hahaha, but the first half of it is poetry. My prof is really cool though, so it's not that bad even though I don't really like poetry. But yeah I had to write a poem...and then everyone in class would tear it apart and workshop it. Oh boy. Well most people in this class have written from the heart, and I don't know, I don't want to write about that stuff: I prefer to write about fantasy. It's still from the heart though, if you know what I mean? Well anyway...

They loved it.

I was really surprised. I don't think I have any talent for poetry, but I got compliments on my imagery, but more so on the ending of my poem. " It gave me a chill." " I read it 10 times, and even to my housemates who agreed with me how haunting it was." Hahaha, I'm glad I got that across...I wrote about Kuroshitsuji, you see. Because like I said, fantasy. Anyway I wrote about Ciel's Birthday. Yeah. About how he lost his family and his house to flames that day. So the poem is very cheery and then...the end it's all on fire. Hah. It makes me happy, because I think I can write like that, shock value I mean. For reasons I can't fathom myself, I can write about haunting things, insanity, and dark things in general...which is weird because I'm not a very dark person. But those characters call me. Anyway, I was really happy. But boy was it nerve wrecking!

And then after adolescent psych class I was chatting the prof up about freeter's and hikikomori's. She had mentioned parasite singles, and they're all related. In any case she was interested and told me to email her more info about it. I'm kinda proud of myself, I've been going up to professors after lecture and just chatting with them....for me, who's shy (yes I am, I'm not sure if I come off like this on the net) it's a big step.

So...that's it. I have my first exam wednesday, and I want an A on it. By the end of tonight I will have studied all the material on it, so tomorrow is just more reinforcement.

Let's do this!

NEW LAYOUT!
AND
PROFILE
GO LOOK, GO LOOK"
It's not pink why was my last layout pink, I HATE pink, and you can actually see stuff yay ♥. New profile too, bc it didn't match my old one...it looks kind of odd in chrome so im gonna shoot the html'er a pm and see if she can't help me with that...

I work tomorrow for the first time in a month :|. Boo, yey? Blah whatever. FLORIDA IN THREE DAYS BABY /o/~
First exam in 3 days too.

Uhhh, so I finished reading what's released in Nabari no Ou and omg PFFFFF. I feel like that story trolled me so hard, and was the perfect example of mono no aware, or Yoite is in any case. (IF YOU KNOW THAT TERM, I LOVE YOUUU) Speaking of Yoite, I'm torn whether I want to rp him or not. I'm waiting a bit because I don't want to be jumping the gun, but I kinda had a lightbulb moment and realized none of my chars really make friends okay this is sad if yoite would be the most likely to make friends out of all my people, but come on hes an ANGST magnet, and at least I know he is possible in being broken down to accepting friendship. Idkkkk. I could play him too because he's the other end of the spectrum I play, but if I did app him he would be the LAST character I play, I play in 3 comms as it is sortinghat_rp, luceti, and a_trialbyfire and I can't handle another comm, so idk. Rp eats my life, then some days I ignore tags and just laze around the net. SH IS SO QUIET LATELY WHYYY :|. Oh but playing Sebastian is soooo awesome ♥. Specially with my awesome Ciel, pink_rain *waves to you through this block of text* SOO happy I found a good Ciel bc PFF IM PICKY AND MOST CIELS MAKE ME WANNA RUIF$IJORKU*OJIGLKRU*GOJIKLR :|||.

...Right, I also am halfway through watching the Nabari no Ou anime. TIME WILL TELL IF I RP YOITE.

uh, uh. I don't know what else. I also bought the new Mario & Luigi rpg today, yay ♥. Oh, oh, and rutgers won again today, AWESOME.....now if only we can keep this up and not suck and fail and blahhhh :O.

Right, that's all. Tell me what you think of my new layout?
(( I want a new mood theme but I have no idea how to look for one :<))

So I'm seriously considering double minoring.

ZUHHH I MISS SCIENCE ;____;.

- All my characters are either unlikeable, or can't be bothered with people. GUYS WE CAN BE RONERY TOGETHER!!! *snuggles you all* ...I just realized that wasn't a real word. WOAH.

- I go to florida in a week! I'm so excited like WOAH~ :3.

- I also have my first exam in a week....hurrrrrrr.

- MUST CHANGE LAYOUTTTTT. THIS WEEKEND.

-Astrology is awesome. Now if only I knew my birthtime...

- I miss you grandpa.

Think I'm due for an update.

So lot's of stuff went on this weekend, CONGRATULATE ME I STAYED FOR A WHOLE FOOTBALL GAME! 8D ( Hey I like football, but Adrienne not too much). I also met Kaoru-mun from SH /o/. It was really cool.

Oh oh BUT BUT.

I SLEPT OVER AT MIKAMIS HOUSE LAST NIGHT 8DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
*stares at mikami as he runs out of the train*

Lol, but yeah I slept at Lauren's house night, me and Mike took a roadtrip to long island :). It was pretty cool, if not only because it was my first real roadtrip :). We didn't get lost once actually not till we got back to NJ bc mike took a wrong turn in fort lee lol.

Also, zomg lulz that's all I'm gonna say ♥.

I hate my layout. Changing it this weekend, maybe.

I'm an incredibly jealous person.
Be it friendship wise or romance.
I always have been, but I think I'm getting better at stopping myself from saying childish things.
I hope I am, anyway.

I'm also a moron.

And I also am apparently, still in love.